“….my understanding is that the first step to take in having a real conversation is simply to stop having the one that you are having now.
By definition the courageous conversation is the conversation that you’re not having now
and also, by definition the courageous conversation is the one that you don’t want to have
and the courageous conversation is the one which you hope isn’t true…..”
This description from the poet, David Whyte, perfectly distills the heartbreaking dance that occurs in our minds as we struggle with having the courage to face our reality and move forward, or stay trapped in the shadows with our fears. Yet, the word conversation suggests an opening- an informal talk about ideas and thoughts. With a courageous conversation we are not setting ourselves up for a zero-sum game. We can have a conversation about growth vs. retreat; about new beginnings vs. old habits; about wholeness vs. a divided spirit. We may fear loss, only because we are uncertain about the gain. Addressing the questions that follow from the statements above catalyzes change. A courageous conversation embodies self-respect, self-compassion, and possibility. Can you begin one now?
What is the conversation that you are having now?
What is the conversation that you don’t want to have?
What is the conversation that you hope isn’t true?
How would you begin your new conversation?